T-shirt quotes (runners-up)

It's become a tradition for each Clarion class to create a t-shirt with a list of quotes from critique sessions on the back. All these are things people actually said about somebody's story. I think they're all funny, although some are only funny because they're presented out-of-context from the critique session while others are only funny if you were there and remember what was actually being talked about.

We had a vote to pick the quotes that went on the t-shirt. These are most of the quotes from the ballot that didn't make the final list. (I took out the quotes that went on the "underground" t-shirt. You'll have to track one of us down at a convention if you want to see those, too.)

• You have a really different sense of story.
• You can't have an organization where the people all kill themselves. It won't last long.
• I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't care. And I mean that in a good way.
• I felt that you thought that I was supposed to think it was a metaphor.
• Maybe it reminded some people of Margaret Atwood. It reminded me of "Chose your own adventure."
• These intergalactic chickens help him fix up the barn.
• Love the jar. Lose the tang.
• It conveyed a good sense of monotony.
• I couldn't put this down, and it appalled me.
• Don't ruin the universe.
• I kind of liked the idea of him turning into a cyborg turnip
• I wasn't sure where you were going with the mold.
• Real women don't giggle.
• It's a nice romance, but I prefer stories where things blow up.
• If it's intentional, you need to stop it. If it's not intentional, you need to stop it.
• My mommy won't let me read any more of your stories.
• He must be dead. Or else, he's on a trip.
• I don't like knowing what's going to happen before it happens because then I know what's going to happen.
• People breathe air and say words.
• The repetition got a bit repetitious.
• I took it at face value that she killed everyone, and I'm okay with that.
• My childhood had no subtext.
• I have no problem with her sitting and watching people die. That's what I'd do if I were a mer-person.
• One other thing, and this is a complement.
• Plausible, but not interesting.
• I like to think they were able to get to the top of the food chain because they're sneaky eggplants.
• The pups are fuzzy, and that's not scary.
• They don't know that they're us, but we know that they're them.
• If I see someone and his head's on fire, that's the first thing I'll notice.
• Beat me over the head a little more and this will work great.
• It's a Schrödinger's Christmas Card: God bless us everyone--or not.
• I want to see assassin bunnies.
• I was not surprised that there were magical white crocodiles.
• I enjoyed reading this, and trying to figure out what was going on.
• It's beautifully written, but I want to see floors.
• If you were trying to do that, it came through. If you weren't, yes you were.
• My immune system resists this kind of story.

Looking at my referrer logs, I see that this page is often found by people looking for quotes for running t-shirts. Sorry there's not more on this page about running. I am a runner, though. If you've a mind to, you can read about one of my favorite runs. I hope that makes your coming to this page worthwhile.

If reading this has stirred your interest in Clarion, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop, you can read all about my Clarion adventures in my Clarion journal.

Here are a few other articles about writing and attending Clarion:

• "Story Structure in Short Stories: is an article I wrote for Speculations. It talks about various models for story structure and how those models apply to short stories in particular. It appeared in the February, 2002 issue.
• "How I learned at Clarion" is a small piece that talks not about what I learned but about how I learned it--and compares what I expected would be the most useful parts of the experience to what actually turned out to teach me the most.
• "Where you won't get critiques and how not to use them" is a short rant that I dashed off when I should have been writing fiction but was annoyed over some complaints about rejection letters.
• "Clarion Expenses" is a brief description of what Clarion cost me, offered in the hopes that it'll help other people trying to figure out whether they can afford to go.